Strong and Silenced

by Charlotte McKinley

Women in Jiu-Jitsu is not a new thing. Women interested in “men’s sports” is also not a new thing. This being the case, why is it when men find out that women know more about technique or fighters than they do, surprise and bluster is a common response?

Co-owner of Gracie Barra Colorado Springs and black belt instructor Vanessa Waltz recalls a time when a new member joined her gym and assumed that, as a woman, her knowledge was inadequate to teach. “A man brought his teenage son to my morning class years ago. [The] dad sat and watched me teach with his son next to him. By the second technique he pulled a male coach aside and asked if I was to be the one teaching this time spot, [the] coach answered yes. The man huffed, turned up his nose, said a woman was not able to teach his son and walked out.” Despite the show, Waltz was relieved when they decided to leave. “There was nothing but trouble ahead if they stayed.” Disrespect to any instructor is not acceptable. As an instructor and a black belt, there is a wealth of knowledge possessed no matter the gender.

Despite this, there is still a struggle in achieving acceptance and respect in the male-dominated community. “Coming up in a very male-dominated era of BJJ, it always felt as though I had to do more than my male counterparts to acquire the same level of respect. I did more competitions, more classes, more everything you can imagine to be accepted as valid,” Waltz said.

When she first began teaching, it was not easy for Waltz. “There were classes that felt so off that I questioned myself and I would compare my abilities to my husband and feel heartbreakingly inadequate. Just as we learn in the beginning of our BJJ journey, sucking is a part of healthy growth. I embraced it. I studied ways to deal with speaking anxiety, kept accepting offers for seminars, and faced this phase with arms wide open. It took time to grow into a well-rounded leader, especially having no other woman to relate [to] or reference.”

This is not an isolated event. Melissa Lohsen, black belt and co-owner of Darkwolf MMA, had something similar happen. “The only thing I have had to deal with is well meaning advanced belts mansplaining over the top of me when I was teaching. I handled him right there on the floor with everyone watching. I just told him that I did not need his assistance in instructing the move, and that the only assistance I needed from him was to be my uke. He apologized immediately and has never done it again.”

Samantha Seff, brown belt instructor at Rubao Carioca at Schell Shock BJJ, has also experienced this phenomenon. “Every once in a while a bit of an ego will pop up with someone new, and they get humbled real quick.” She deals with this head on making sure to always train with someone new so they can better appreciate the technique that comes with years of gym time. “Because of that, I feel very well respected at my gym and could not ask for a better place to train.”

An old saying in Jiu-Jitsu advises practitioners to “leave their ego at the door” before stepping onto the mats. For Waltz, this was something that continues to be applicable in her instruction. “I learned to remove personal ego even as a teacher,” Waltz said. “I am forever a student myself and do not hold myself above anyone, but I know my worth and teach like I know it. If that confidence pushes someone away, I am left with those that are happy to be there seeking knowledge and having fun!”

Waltz has done more than being a co-owner and professor at her gym. She has been instrumental in helping women achieve notoriety and opportunities in the Jiu-Jitsu community through advocating for more women’s divisions in tournaments. “I hassled people, pissed people off, and had to fight for even a single open class division.” For Waltz, seeing ladies inside and outside of the Jiu-Jitsu community stand up for themselves and equal opportunity has been a “vision turned to reality.”

Dani Harris, who runs the Artemis Submission Series, has similar thoughts. “When I first got into Jiu-Jitsu, I trained in Kentucky that really didn’t have a lot of women. I wanted to get closer to other women who were doing this because I wrestled in High School, but I didn’t really have any women I personally looked up to in this sport. I knew I wanted to grow this because I love Jiu-Jitsu and wrestling and combat sports, so I wanted to share that with others.”

Harris didn’t stop there. At just a white belt with a few stripes, she hosted a seminar with Cat Zingano. “I didn’t have a lot of notoriety or even a leg to stand on, but for some reason I got a turnout of about 50 women.” This success made her think of what she could do if she had a bit of marketing on her side. Fast forward to 2021, Harris has created and hosted the Artemis Submission Series, a females-only submission tournament where the competitors compete for money. “We [as women] deserve to have a lot more,” she said. “Most of the time, it’s targeted towards men. I wanted to flip that.”

Ana Yagües, a black belt, IBJJF referee, and author of BJJ The Rules of the Game, set herself up differently. To gain respect or knowledge, she knew she would have to outwork the men around her. When she became pregnant, she trained until she couldn’t. After giving birth, she was the first one back on the mats. She worked her way up refereeing this way too. “I started to referee for small competitions for free, to learn and get experience before I could properly call myself a referee,” she said. “Men see that and they respect it. As a woman in a man’s world, you need their respect in order to be heard—in order to be considered as equal. Other men don’t have to train, fight, or prove themselves as hard as a woman has to do in order to reach the same level of respect and acknowledgment, but it is the way it is.”

The dynamic between men and women in Jiu-Jitsu is ever-changing. “Today BJJ is widespread and women have been more involved which creates a balanced respect between female and male professors,” Waltz says. Though there are still instances where women are not treated fairly in the Jiu-Jitsu community, the vast majority of this tight-knit community has grown more accepting of the women in their ranks. Lohsen agrees. “I think that having a woman on the ownership team does help bring that woman’s perspective to decisions. It is easier to attract female students when you have a female instructor and female leadership in the gym.”

Female practitioners are a valuable asset to the Jiu-Jitsu community. Women have a different perspective and see things their male counterparts do not see, they use different methods and techniques, and have a different relate to others. Truth is, no practitioner deserves to be disrespected in any way and most definitely not when the disrespect is based on their gender.

Ask a Jiujiteira!

VANESSA WALTZ

Do you have a preference for whom you teach?
My favorite is co-ed adult classes! People in general are so unique and love the mix you get every class. It also demonstrates that black belt women are highly valued in our community! Teaching women’s classes is where I really shine, though. I love to share ideas, tell jokes, and hold them close to my heart. I can be more feminine, laugh until I cry, and roll hard with them. My husband is phenomenal at teaching kids, I however like to roll up children but don’t have the passion for leading those classes like he does!

IG: infinitydestro

MELISSA LOHSEN

Have you ever had anyone turn away or leave your gym when they found out a woman owns it?
I teach the morning classes and I know I have had at least two prospective students who did not come back after the first lesson and I definitely got the vibe that it was the fact that I am a female instructor. One asked some of the male students what my qualifications were even though I have my black belt on my waist and certificates on the wall. I don’t think that would have been asked of my husband.

IG: darkwolfmma

SAMANTHA SEFF

When you first started training for MMA, did you get put down for being female and wanting to fight in the cage?
I did. I have a brother (I’m a triplet) who began training a year and a half before I did. He’s incredibly ripped and although he had no aspirations to fight, he felt pressured into it because he hates saying no and letting others down. People assumed I would train for self-defense and he would be the fighter of the family. He was ecstatic when people finally took me seriously so he could go back to training for fun while I had the mindset to dedicate my life to fighting.

IG: wolfqueenmma

DANI HARRIS

How did you connect with women in BJJ?
When I first got into Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I trained in Kentucky that really didn’t have a lot of Jiujiteiras. I wanted to get closer to other women who trained because I wrestled in High School, but I didn’t really have any girls I personally looked up to in this sport. I knew I wanted to change this because I love Jiu-Jitsu and wrestling and combat sports so much, I want to share it with others. I didn’t have a lot of notoriety or even a leg to stand on, but for some reason I got a turnout of about 50 women.

IG: artemiswomenssubseries

ANA YAGÜES

Have you ever noticed a difference in the way people listen to you vs. a male professor?
No, probably because I’ve always focused first in earning “my seat at the table”. I never tried to make my thoughts known until I’ve showed that I’m taking it seriously. I don’t mean having to win a major competition or having a high rank before you can have an opinion, I mean to work hard and show you are not there to play around. As a woman, coming from the physics world which Is also predominantly male, I knew you need to prove yourself to be taken seriously.

IG: nexusfighteracademy

Charlotte McKinley

Charlotte McKinley is a blue belt affiliated under Jean Jacques Machado. She enjoys armbars, books, and people. Charlotte has a passion for blending her writing and love of Jiu-Jitsu. She is a full time student, works with the youth classes at Alpha Jiu Jitsu and Fitness and is a social media guru. @bjj_charlotte