I Am an Outlier at My Gym, Now What?
by Samantha Seff
As a Jiujiteira, you are already an outlier at your gym by being a woman in the sport. Add in certain other factors like age, size, and outside factors such as family and home life or occupational hazards, and now you might fall into a very specific subset of people who train, and if you are at a smaller gym, you may be the only one there who falls into that demographic. Man, it can be tough.
Walking through those doors on day one can be incredibly intimidating. Sometimes those nerves are exacerbated if you are what is considered an “older” grappler just starting out with all the young bucks out there. Your body simply doesn’t recover as quickly and the ability of the elasticity to bounce back from repetitive training sessions dwindles on the daily. You also may wonder how the coaching staff will place any emphasis on those who are more mature when it comes to learning a new skillset or even possibly competing one day. Will they only divert their attention to the youthful competitors? Or do you stand a chance at that same knowledge?
“As women, society not only places on emphasis on being young and beautiful, but our figures and our weights as well.“
With the influx of Masters divisions at all of the major tournaments and competitions, it is clear there are a growing number of active competitors inching towards the silvery side of things. It’s unfortunate if someone finds themselves at a gym only dedicated to the spring chickens of the sports. To grow old is a luxury, and the only guarantee in this life is that time will always pass regardless. Someone newer, younger, more agile, stronger, and more athletic is always clamoring to take the top spot, so keep pushing forward regardless of the year of your birthdate.
As women, society not only places on emphasis on being young and beautiful, but our figures and our weights as well. Heaven forbid you are deemed too large and overweight, or too scrawny and skinny because “only real women have curves.” It seems to be a woman in this day and age means you can never win. The world loves to draw comparisons between women in similar fields and frankly, it sucks.
Take any high level tournament where the biggest names in the female division take each other on. The comment sections are riddled with arm chair losers denigrating every facet of their appearance and clamoring to leave their entitled input rooting for the woman they deem to be more beautiful. Lo and behold, if you are what is classified as a “bigger” woman, these sad little men will come out of the woodwork to call you horrible names and compare you to burly monsters. If you are feeling inadequate with the manhood between your legs, I am sure there are simpler ways to state that than putting down powerful femme fatales, but I digress.
It’s hard to walk into a gym with your head held high for the first time, when you know you are unfortunately going to stick out. 99% of gyms and the people in those gyms do not give one iota of a care about the way you look or any other detail of your appearance. Jiu-Jitsu gyms mostly work hard to generate a welcoming environment and a healthy atmosphere, and if you have been one of those to experience an unfortunately toxic gym, I hope that doesn’t deter you from seeking out training elsewhere.
Every black belt in Jiu Jitsu once stood exactly where you did, unsure about themselves and maybe even slightly intimidated by those around them and worried that they were holding others back from their training. But these black belts continuously trained and kept showing up and helped to pave the way for others that would one day be stepping into their footsteps.
It’s always hard to be the first. The first woman, the first female heavyweight, the first female over 50, etc. But someone has to be the first, so why not allow yourself to be the trailblazer that other girls and women coming up in the sport will look up to and aspire to one day be like? Every outlier starts sometime, somewhere, and with the growth in this sport, will one day be just like every other practitioner. You may be the first, but I guarantee, you won’t be the last.
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