Stronger Together: The Bonding Power of Jiu-Jitsu

Jiujiteiras learn not only the art of self-defense but also the art of lifting each other up

In the world of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the concept of sisterhood transcends mere camaraderie—it becomes a powerful bond forged on the mats, where resilience and mutual support thrive. Sisterhood in Jiu-Jitsu is not just a shared pursuit of mastering techniques or winning competitions; it’s a deep connection grounded in the shared journey of personal growth, empowerment, and the collective triumph over challenges.

On the mat, Jiujiteiras find themselves woven into a tight-knit sisterhood that goes beyond the physical aspects of the sport. There’s an unspoken understanding, a mutual respect, and a shared commitment to breaking through barriers. As they navigate the complexities of sweeps, submissions, and escapes, these women become each other’s allies, mentors, and confidantes. The support system within the sisterhood of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu extends beyond the gym walls, fostering an environment where encouragement, motivation, and celebration of one another’s victories become intrinsic to the experience.

In this sisterhood, women learn not only the art of self-defense but also the art of lifting each other up. The grappling sessions become a metaphor for life’s challenges, where they discover the strength to overcome obstacles together. It’s a shared journey where the tapping of hands in acknowledgment symbolizes not just a submission in training but a recognition of each other’s growth and resilience. Through the bonds formed on the mats, the sisterhood of Jiu-Jitsu becomes a sanctuary of empowerment, where women inspire and push each other to become not just better Jiujiteiras but stronger individuals, fostering a legacy of unity and strength.

As we approach the end of 2023, we invited our readers to share some of their most cherished moments on the mats with their Jiu-Jitsu sisters. We received tales of sisterhood, empowerment, training highs, and instances when women found strength in the support of a fellow Jiujiteira. So let’s ring in the new year by reminiscing about the incredible moments we’ve experienced with our sisters this year.

Family Found

By Pamela Chen
Editor Patrish Murphy

Family, it’s what teaches us at a young age what it means and how it feels to be loved unconditionally. From the time we are babies, family is a constant assurance that we are cared for and held close. People who would be willing to break some laws for us. People who would be willing to do anything for us. People who support us. People who make us feel safe.

At least this is what I heard. I had never met these people growing up. I recall my early days of childhood the sound of shattered glass, bodies crashing into walls, and yelling which made my eardrums pound. Durin g this time my father was wheelchair-bound due to Parkinson’s.The disease would hinder his speech, gait, and independence. As he became sicker my mother became angrier. Her outburst became more violent. During one of her episodes, at the ripe age of six, I called the only number I knew 911.

It was after this call my brother and I would enter the foster care system. Living in the system made the word family dissipate. There was no one at my chorus concerts, basketball games, or award ceremonies growing up. No one to love me unconditionally, no assurance, no one to hold me close, no one willing to break laws, no support, and no one to make me feel safe. The word family would only become a term I heard but never understood.

Then I walked into the doors of Soca BJJ located in Wantagh, NY. People there were kind and encouraging. They saw something in me I did not know existed. I will never forget my first competition. It was the NY Open. Only two months into training, I was unsure if I should do it or not. My training partner, Saja, who signed up at the same time I did, encouraged me to give it a try. Maybe it was bold walking into an IBJJF competition, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because it was on this day I had never been so proud of myself or the team I represent. It was on this day I learned I was not alone anymore. It was on this day I knew I had Professor Samantha and the other women on my team in my corner. Even as disappointment shattered through my body because my hand was not raised, as I walked off the mat and out of the pen, I was met with warm embraces and words of encouragement from the women on my team. This love and support meant more to me than any win.

I returned home that day with tears still falling. I first thought they were from losing but then realized they were tears of happiness. Tears came streaming because I finally found my home. I finally found support. I found love that is positive, inspirational, unconditional, and infinite. I finally found my family.

Even as disappointment shattered through my body because my hand was not raised, as I walked off the mat and out of the pen, I was met with warm embraces and words of encouragement from the women on my team. This love and support meant more to me than any win.
Pamela Chen

Team on the mats and life

By Giovanna Petralia

There is something very special about the art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. That specialness goes even deeper at Soca BJJ, especially with the women there. At the academy, it’s a no-judgment zone where you see people being choked out, smashed, and taken down. Every day on the mats is like being at home, especially on the girls’ mat. We all challenge each other to be better, we can tell when someone is off, we celebrate good news and most importantly, we can be our weird selves together.

I have met some amazing girls on the mats at Soca BJJ that I am forever grateful for. Channeling my inner Swiftie, I dubbed this year as “a lot going on at the moment”, my girls from Soca BJJ were there in the highs and lows of the emotional roller coaster I endured this year. Drilling on the mats, making jokes while doing the techniques, being able to share some really tough rolls, and being able to let my “guard” down, no pun intended, helped me get through this year. Hearing some powerful words during competition time like “I want you to win, you deserve it, you know a lot, trust yourself” are phrases I will always carry with me. The encouragement that these women provide is truly immeasurable.

The biggest encouragement was this last belt ceremony, I watched my training partners get promoted and received my brown belt. Getting my brown belt would not have happened if I didn’t have these girls alongside of me.
Giovanna Petralia

We sadly lost our beautiful training partner “Tini” this year. In her loss we leaned on one another and came together even stronger. Watching the way we support each other at tournaments and keeping the competitors calm before their matches is really special. The cheers from a win or not, you know that you have special women in your corner no matter the result. The biggest encouragement was this last belt ceremony, I watched my training partners get promoted and received my brown belt. Getting my brown belt would not have happened if I didn’t have these girls alongside of me. On or off the mats, during competitions in Jiu-Jitsu and life, for wins and hard losses, we are always there for each other. Let’s take on 2024 with an even bigger force than we did for 2023! Oss!

Healing Ourselves and Each Other

By Audrey Collins

Every girl I meet on the mats is healing from something.

Of course, everyone alive suffers something and has to heal – or choose not to. It’s a humans cycle. But every girl I meet on the mats is in the process of healing herself, or else she wouldn’t be there. Maybe you’re like me and started training for “self defense” and “a great, full body workout”, that’s what I thought I’d be getting from the sport. I didn’t realize that the women who welcomed me on my first day would go home hoping I come back again. I was just happy there was a female Professor and other girl students, surely that was a good sign for a martial arts academy. I didn’t realize that every time I would show up I would be wading deeper into such a vulnerable shared space. Where you get to admit that it hurts and tap to make it stop, something we’re not always afforded in real life. I keep showing up and the other girls do too. We’re all getting better at Jiu-Jitsu, and noticing that even when it’s hard and we lose it’s still fun. Our Professor praises us for our efforts and progress and we continue to train, inspired by her journey thats helping shape ours.

I didn’t realize that a few hours of Jiu-Jitsu with them (Jiujiteiras) every week for the last five years would have such a positive impact on every aspect of my life.
Audrey Collins

These women created an environment that I found myself craving. They’re supportive and sincere, and check on me when they notice I’m down, and congratulate me when I win and help correct my mistakes after losing. I didn’t realize I had never really experienced that connection with so many women before. I didn’t realize that a few hours of Jiu-Jitsu with them every week for the last five years would have such a positive impact on every aspect of my life.

In the real world we as women are often putting every single other persons needs ahead of our own. On the mats we’re finally encouraged to put ourselves first. To train for yourself and be able to benefit from others doing the same is really hard to describe. But it’s such a special feeling when you had a hard day, and you know the girls did too, yet we’re all on the mats now at 7pm. You always know you’re going to feel better after, but I finally realized why. We’re all here to heal ourselves and each other, one roll at a time.

She Was There: a poem

By Patrish Murphy

In honor of the women at Soca BJJ

When I lost a late-term pregnancy and sobbed on the floor, she was there to hold me.
When I came into the gym overwhelmed by motherhood, she was there to guide me.
When I fumbled over the technique of the week, she was there to teach me.
When I needed someone to make me laugh, she was there to entertain me.
When I yearned for silence from the noise of the world, she was there to be quiet with me.
When I seemed to be going off-course from who I wanted to be, she was there to redirect me.

When I had something to celebrate, she was there to cheer for me.
When my hard work didn’t end up how I wanted, she was there to encourage me.

She had been there long before I first started.
She signed up at the exact time I did.
She came in after me.
She has not met me yet.

But there is one thing true in all the she’s I knew.
She will be there for me on the mats, in life, and in everything I do.

All because of Jiu-Jitsu.