Keep Your Unsolicited Comments on my Body to Yourself

by Samantha Schell

When you’re a woman at the forefront in the martial arts community, sometimes you’re also vulnerable to the prying eyes of judgmental stares surveying every inch of your body, raking it all in and surveying and x-raying all that’s presented. And now with the surplus of social media at the tips of everyone’s fingertips, snide remarks are even more prevalent. I don’t know what unspoken ritual has taken place that seemingly granted everyone the entitlement to speak about the appearance of someone else, but I am so sick of it.

Female athletes are always judged differently than their male counterparts. Always. It is never based solely on their accolades or what they’ve accomplished, how fast they ran, how high they jumped, how many goals they scored, how many world titles the won, but also how many muscles she has, how thin she appears, how much weight she has gained, how manly she looks, how pretty she is. Think I’m wrong? I have countless examples to provide.

Growing up, the Williams sisters (i.e. Venus and Serena) were plastered all across ESPN constantly. Serena was always a personal hero of mine, and it bothered me how often other people felt not only necessary, but that they had the right to comment on the body of her and her sister. Were people making the same remarks about Roger Federer? Nope. Just Venus and Serna. There are easier ways to say you’re intimidated, I promise.

“Those who feel the need to comment negatively on other’s appearances, do so from a place of deep-rooted insecurities.”

Years have gone by and nothing has changed. Let’s take for example a more current athlete. Sprinter Sha’Carri Richardson is out there absolutely annihilating and shattering track and field records. And everyone wanted to focus on her wig wearing and her extravagant nails, denigrating her appearance at every turn rather than the athletic prowess she was accomplishing and the amazing feats she was achieving. Let’s just say I was applauding exuberantly at the screen when she ripped off her wig at the USA Nationals in July and ran a 10.8 to become the USA National Champion.

And yet still, female Jiu-Jitsu athletes still can’t escape the scrutiny. Instagram pages solely dedicated to posting highlight reel matches from the top athletes in the world get uploaded constantly between both the men’s matches and women’s matches. Under the men’s matches, comment after comment lauding the men’s diverse skillsets and the amazing talent displayed. Under the women’s, an influx on remarks on their bodies, either sexualizing the two women or referencing them as looking like ‘men’ or even saying they have gained weight etc..

It’s exceptionally demoralizing as a woman, when you work so hard in a sport to be taken seriously, you get treated either as a sex object to be lusted after or to be mocked as not worthwhile enough. Or lambasted for your weight, or because someone deems your features masculine. Whichever it is, it seems to always be something. The only scrutiny the male Jiu-Jitsu athletes ever face is the comments over who is actually juicing. The comments never really delve into something more personal than that.

Listen, I understand being in the public eye is a tough job for anyone, but it really does suck that even after all of this time, athletes are still treated and looked at so differently amongst their peers and to the casual fans and viewers based on their gender rather than their skill. The damage can really take its toll mentally, especially on top of all of the taxing physical challenges we already endure through the constant training and competing. It’s one thing we shouldn’t have to worry about or focus on, but inevitably, it seems to come up. And what a shame that the cruel words of others can bring down the talent of someone who works so hard. Sure, they can say all they want that sticks and stones can break your bones and words can never hurt you, but I am sure that most of us would agree that nothing cuts deeper or causes more pain than the scathing remarks of wounded and wicked individual.

Even if you’re not a professional athlete, there is something about being a female athlete that people feel the need to comment on the appearance of. I was having dinner with someone the other day, who told me they were hesitant to order a diet coke because their coach had previously made a negative correlation in regard to their diet and physique and the things that they consumed. This infuriated me. People have become far too comfortable and emboldened with their unsolicited opinions, particularly with women’s bodies.

Those who feel the need to comment negatively on other’s appearances, do so from a place of deep-rooted insecurities. Learning that helped me be at peace with some of the things I would witness, but it definitely still stings from time to time and can upset me for the sake of others as well. Just know that those in the cheapest seats always boo the loudest.

It takes guts to get out there and compete. It also takes a lot of hard work, determination, and grit. Not all bodies look the same doing it, and people are just going to have to get over it and find something else to comment on. Like, I don’t know, maybe the actual athletic event taking place in the post? The time for unsolicited comments on female athlete’s appearances is long overdue to be canceled.

Samantha Schell

The “Wolf Queen” is a BJJ black belt under team Rubao Carioca at Schell Shock BJJ in Fuquay Varina, NC. She’s a professional atomweight MMA figher and writes a weekly blog: WolfQueenMMA.com. In her spare time she enjoys cooking and baking. Reach her via DM on Instagram: @wolfqueenmma