Father Time is Undefeated

by Samantha Schell

Jiu-Jitsu is for everyone. Mothers, fathers, kids, teens, those with limitations, white belts to black belts, competitors, hobbyists, etc. There are so many different variables involved with everyone who steps foot on the mats, and a lot of pressure we put on ourselves as well, especially as we climb through the ranks. If we aren’t careful, this type of pressure can begin to weigh heavily on our hearts and our minds.

Those of us that not only train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but actively compete tend to deal with a lot of mental nuances as well. It’s not just about impostor syndrome, or measuring up to our peers, but as we age and our athleticism begins to decline as injuries begin to catch up with us and it’s hard not to compare ourselves to the competitor we once were. All of a sudden, we are struggling with movements that once came to us so easily, and it can be a very difficult ordeal to try and navigate as our agility starts to lose some finesse.

I fought MMA for many years while actively training and competing in Jiu-Jitsu, and I loved it so much. The hard work, difficult weight cuts, overcoming obstacles, and experiencing the feeling of those triumphant victories. Nothing ever comes close to the feeling of busting your butt working for something and having your effort pay off in the end. Recently, I have suffered catastrophic damage to both of my knees, putting a (hopefully) temporary halt on all of my fighting and competing. And the number one thing I can’t seem to get out of my head these days, is what if I’m too old?

When I say too old, I don’t mean in life and general, as I am still fairly young overall. What I mean by this is too old to keep pursuing my current path. Especially after 6 knee surgeries and now 2 more on the horizon in my very near future. I don’t want to stop competing, but it is beginning to seem more and more likely that I need to change exactly what I am currently doing. Meaning, gravitating towards Master’s Jiu-Jitsu competitions and segueing out of cage fighting and high-level adult competition ventures such as ADCC. Father time is surely hot on my tail.

When I watch people at the top of their game right now, people such as Gordon Ryan, Mikey Musumeci, Sean Strickland, Weili Zhang, and I am always wondering how many people are rooting for them to stumble and fall. People love to watch people fail for some reason, especially people like Gordon Ryan who have yet to show a chink in the armor. But as every generation of athletes seems to get better and better, it again is only a matter of time before age catches up and athleticism begins to decline. And how many people will be cheering loudly and clapping exuberantly when the greats begin to lose some of that shine? Are there people in my life secretly hoping to watch me fall as well?

In no way does aging take away the accolades of the athlete you once were, but it may feel difficult to come to terms with a declining and deteriorating meat suit. These bodies are just vessels for our minds and our souls, and in no way does our physical capabilities determine the type of person that we are deep inside.

One day, you’re at peak physical performance and capabilities, and the next you are seemingly slower for no reason, struggling to recover as well as you once were able to, suffering from arthritic tendencies, and nursing injuries that just won’t seem to heal. We feel sluggish and worn down, and have definitely had one too many ‘check engine’ lights surreptitiously pop up on our dashboards. If only we could get an oil change to reinvigorate ourselves and extend the shelf life of our competitive tendencies. Hey, at least stem cells exist.

In no way does aging take away the accolades of the athlete you once were, but it may feel difficult to come to terms with a declining and deteriorating meat suit. These bodies are just vessels for our minds and our souls, and in no way does our physical capabilities determine the type of person that we are deep inside. You can be an incredible athlete, but a terrible human and vice versa. Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of the things I have accomplished in my athletic career, but I am far more proud of the person I have become off the mats and outside of the cage.

In the end, no one escapes life unscathed; if you are fortunate enough to live for many years, your body will accrue much wear and tear and begin to decline with age. As sad as it has made me to face this harsh reality, a few tragic deaths of lives so young in my life have really put things into perspective. I may never be able to perform the same way I did in my youth, but I have been so lucky to live a life jam packed of opportunities to push myself and accomplish great things, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Although time is creeping up on me, it will never take away the things I once did, and the things I will still be able to do. My path has just taken a detour to find a new destination. I can look back with fond memories, and not regret things because I did push myself while I was able to. And one day when I am old, gray, and wrinkled, I can smile fondly viewing old photos and videos, reminiscing appreciatively about the competitions of a life well-lived.

Samantha Schell

The “Wolf Queen” is a BJJ black belt under team Rubao Carioca at Schell Shock BJJ in Fuquay Varina, NC. She’s a professional atomweight MMA figher and writes a weekly blog: WolfQueenMMA.com. In her spare time she enjoys cooking and baking. Reach her via DM on Instagram: @wolfqueenmma