It’s a Balancing Act

Balance is an effort. With self awareness you can stay healthy and still be a superwoman to yourself and to the people in your life.

by Vhilena Nelson

This month’s article is on balance which really ties in well with the Libras of September and October as the scales are their cosmic sign. A balanced person has an even keel that allows them to deal effectively with all situations. Balance is of course important not just for Libras but for all people. Balance may play a greater role than usual in our lives at present. In fact, balance may actually help us overcome many challenges and obstacles during these times when change seems so prevalent and uncertain.

As women we are expected to do so much. We must take care of others while still taking care of ourselves. It’s like walking on a tightrope; if you fall one way or another, your life falls as well. This means that we need to maintain both sides of any situation: our own needs and desires, and those of others around us. The challenge here is how best to accomplish this.

We play a role in so many people’s lives, from family members to friends to co-workers. We often feel that everyone else knows what they want better than we do. How can we know where other people stand? Where should we put our energy? Should we try harder to understand their point of view, or spend more time trying to get ours across? In relationships, balancing the two different points of view is difficult enough. But when we consider the whole picture, there are many factors involved.

Finding the balance to make sure everyone’s needs are met as well as our own takes practice and experience. We have to allow ourselves to not feel guilty when taking care of ourselves. This includes hobbies that are not only good for our physical health but also our mental health. Taking care of yourself does not mean being selfish, but it certainly doesn’t include neglecting yourself. You don’t have to give up anything to keep yourself happy and healthy. We must remind ourselves how much more difficult it is to give from an empty cup compared to one filled with love and appreciation.

So how do we find the right amount of balance between our own needs and those of others? What about our job responsibilities? Our personal goals? And how do we handle the inevitable conflicts that arise? Here are some ideas that might help you achieve the perfect balance:

Be clear about your priorities. Are you willing to compromise or sacrifice something for someone else? If so, what will it be? If not, then what are your top three things that you absolutely cannot let go of? These are your “must haves” . Make sure you’re aware of them before making decisions. Otherwise you’ll never be able to tell whether you’ve achieved the proper level of balance.
Consider all aspects of the problem. When faced with a decision, think through every angle possible. Don’t assume that just because you understand the facts that you fully grasp the entire issue. Sometimes you can learn new information that changes everything. Look at each side of the equation. Think of all the possibilities. Try to see all angles at once. Then decide which course of action will be most beneficial overall.
Avoid extremes. An extreme position is always wrong. Whether it’s too much effort or too little, or giving too much or not enough, either choice is usually poor. Instead, choose something in the middle. That way you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings, but neither will you cause unnecessary problems.
Learn to say no. There are times when saying yes is simply out of reach. Maybe you can’t afford to take on a project, or maybe you just don’t feel like doing it. In these cases, you need to politely decline. Your refusal may seem harsh, especially if you haven’t said no often. But remember, if you can’t refuse, you can’t ask. It’s better to turn down a request now than to regret a yes later.
Take time to reflect. After a stressful situation, step back and examine what happened. Did I do the best that I could, given the circumstances? Could I have handled myself better? How can I avoid repeating this mistake? These questions can help you gain perspective.
Stay calm. Stress is a natural part of life. It’s important to remain flexible, even under pressure. Remember that there is a difference between stress and anxiety. Anxiety is fear. It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes. But if you become overwhelmed by these emotions, they can negatively affect your ability to function.
Keep a positive outlook. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thinking. However, if you dwell on bad experiences, they can drag you into a downward spiral of negativity. So try to focus on the good, instead.
Let yourself feel. Emotions can be very powerful forces. They can help us make better decisions and move forward with confidence. At the same time, however, they can cloud our judgment. It’s best to keep them to yourself, unless you really have to share.
Be open to change. Change is inevitable. We can only control the path we walk. The only thing we can do is adapt to the ever-changing world around us.
Pay attention to details. Details matter. Everything has a purpose. Small things are often overlooked, but they add up to make a big impact. If you pay careful attention to the small stuff, you will be amazed at how much more you can accomplish.
Find time to relax. This doesn’t mean that you should neglect your responsibilities. But it does mean that you have to carve out some special time for yourself. This doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just fifteen minutes to sit quietly and unwind, perhaps listening to soothing music.
Don’t try to please everyone. You will never be able to satisfy every person. Trying to do so will only create frustration and resentment. Instead, concentrate on pleasing the people who are truly important to you.

These 12 solutions are a few ways to help maintain harmony and balance in our lives. We must always keep our priorities straight and not allow our emotions to rule our actions. As women, we are expected to be strong, independent, capable, caring, supportive, compassionate, nurturing, loving, understanding, sensitive, gentle, patient, selfless, giving, faithful, honest, humble, responsible.

As you can see these are a lot of responsibilities! And as you can also see, balance plays an important role. When you achieve balance, you will find that you can deal with almost any situation.

Remember that the key to balance isn’t just about achieving a certain amount of time for ourselves, or working on one aspect of our life at a time. Balance is a constant state of being. It’s not something you can have at the end of the day. Balance is a process. It’s a way of life. It’s a lifestyle. It’s not a goal. It’s not a destination. It’s not something that happens. It is something that you do. It’s a way of looking at the world. It’s a way of seeing the whole picture. It’s a way of living. It’s a way of thinking. It’s a way of acting.

Allowing ourselves the freedom to know what is most important to us is a way of maintaining that balance. When you are happy with your choices, you are balanced. We don’t have to sacrifice our hobbies, goals, and dreams to be a good mother or wife or friend. We don’t have to give up our careers or our independence. We just have to learn to accept the fact that we can’t do everything. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to ask for help. We can’t do it all, and that’s okay.Being firm about the things we are not willing to sacrifice is key to balancing our lives.

Understanding the value of your happiness is important. Happiness is something that is hard to define, but it is definitely worth pursuing. Happiness is a feeling of contentment and well-being. It is the fulfillment of your needs and desires. Even if you are a mother, wife, business woman etc. you can and should still put your needs as a priority. Happiness is a choice. It is a decision to take care of yourself. It’s a decision to prioritize your own wants and needs. It’s a decision to let go of the things you don’t need. It’s a decision to stop comparing yourself to others.

It can be difficult to make this kind of a commitment, especially when you are faced with so many demands and responsibilities. But you can make the change if you want to. It takes time, effort, and patience. It is not easy, but it is possible.

Balance is an effort. It’s not always comfortable, and it’s certainly not simple. It requires us to constantly reevaluate how we spend our time. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices. Other times, we may have to cut back on some things. As long as you are self aware, you can maintain a healthy balance. You can make changes in order to keep yourself happy and you can be flexible. You can still be superwoman to the people in your life and superwoman to yourself as well.

Vhilena Nelson

Vhilena Nelson is a professional hair stylist and owner of
His & Her Mobile Hair Salon in Melbourne, FL. A blue belt in Jiu-Jitsu, Vhilena competes in BJJ and is a local advocate for women in the sport. You can contact her at: hisandhermobilehaircare.com