Pretty & Dangerous: Melissa Lohsen

Story and Photos By Evelyn Sutton

Melissa Lohsen is one of the most inspiring and hard-working women you will meet in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. With over 24 years of training under her black-belt, a 2017 IBJJF Masters World Champion title, her own gym, Dark Wolf MMA, and the office of fearless leader of Pretty Dangerous Women’s Jiu Jitsu, she is the epitome of an empowered lady. She credits her success to the love of her life and best friend of 30 years, fellow BJJ black-belt and husband, David Lohsen. Together they share a family, a loving marriage, a business partnership and a mission that much like Melissa’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu journey, has lasted the tides of times.

JM: Tell us about yourself. How old are you? How long have you been training?
ML: LOL, I am super old. I am 48. Started Jiu-Jitsu around 1996ish so around 24 years give or take. My husband started in 1994 and then talked me into trying it out.

JM:What does a typical day in your life look like?
ML: Wake up at 6am, get to the gym at 7am. I homeschool a handful of kids at the dojo (harder than it sounds LOL), 10am teach morning Jiu-Jitsu, 1pm pick up kids from school for our after school program, 4:00pm to 9pm teach a multitude of Jiu-Jitsu and MMA classes, then clean the gym and sometimes record a podcast with my husband (Submission Coalition). Home around 11pm then laundry, dinner and bed by midnight. Not a whole lot of sleep in our lives.

JM:What first attracted you to BJJ?
ML: I wasn’t at first. I watched my husband train for 2 years before he talked me into trying it out. I really had no interest because all I saw was a lot of really sweaty ego-driven men smashing each other (there were really no women in the sport back then). It was mostly wanna be fighters and tough guys. But I am an incredibly competitive person. I competed in high level swimming all the way through high school so when I got into it and started winning some matches even though I was probably the weakest person in the gym, I got hooked. I loved that the more technical I got the easier it was to handle those big strong guys.

JM: What impact Jiu-Jitsu has in your life, as a woman, and individual?
ML: Definitely helped with confidence. I think overall it has helped me in all aspects of my life, from work, to family, to general inner peace and happiness. Jiu-Jitsu has an incredible way of taking all of your insecurities and smashing them and what you are left with is an inner strength that you didn’t know you had. I think that it has made me a more patient, smarter, strategic, calmer, and more confident person.

JM: You have an impressive competition record which includes 2017 brown belt IBJJF Masters World Champion title. What is your advice for the young women today who compete and look up to you as inspiration?
ML: I love competition. It is truly a happy place for me. I know that is not the same for everyone. I have talked to so many people who have immense anxiety over competition. My biggest piece of advice is this: prepare to the best of your abilities and when it comes time for the actual competition, understand that this is the best training session you will ever have, enjoy the moment and win or loose come out of it with something to work on so that no matter the outcome, you have benefited from the match. It’s a win-win. Have fun. If you are not having fun then what is the point. Do I like loosing?Hell no! But it never devastates me because I come out of it with new tools to hone.

JM: In your experience, what are some of the differences of training with and competing against men and women?
ML: Funny story behind my answer. My first competition was the first Gracie open in 1997 or 1998. They did not have a womens division and there were no women competing so they dropped me one weight class and put me in with the men. Two things happened: some of the men dropped out because they did not want to compete against a woman, and the others tried to murder me hahaha. I got literally, man-handled. Needless to say I did not win any of those matches. Fast forward to the next competition and there was one woman, blue belt and smaller than me. So I slap bump and this girl jumps guard and starts working a technical attack driven guard game and I really didn’t know what to do with that. I was used to always being on the bottom and getting smashed. It was eye opening. I left that competition and told my husband David Lohsen that I needed to find a way to train with women because it was so different.

JM: For 10 years you owned Lohsen Martial Arts Academy, in California where you organized the Foothill Submission Championships with MMA athletes such as Michael McDonald and TJ Dillashaw. What was that experience like and would you ever consider running an event like that for women?
ML: It was exhausting and fun. We were in a truly tiny community up in the foothills above Stockton, CA. The Foothill Submission Championships started out as a NOGI only tournament. It attracted a lot of the up-and-coming MMA fighters. When those big name guys did the tournament they had not made a name for themselves yet. Yes, we have talked about running some tournaments and may start when we get our gym moved to the new location. We have ran a Pretty Dangerous womens-only tournament and would love to run more of those. As far as MMA events, we help our son run Origin Fight League which is a local amateur MMA event. At some point we may do a womens-only card. That would be fun.

JM: Tell us more about Pretty Dangerous.
ML: Pretty Dangerous is actually my husband, David Lohsen’s idea. When we moved to Florida and were just starting DarkwolfMMA I didn’t have any female training partners yet. I was getting the bug to compete again and we both knew I needed to train with women to be prepared. We went to a Girls in Gis event in Vero Beach and came back feeling that was great but they only come out to Florida maybe once a year. So, my amazing husband said “let’s do one in this are”. He had already come up with the name Pretty Dangerous when we had a women’s team in California. He told me to go for it and that we could use that name for the events.

In the beginning we just did them at our gym and no one showed up. I was getting very frustrated. Other gym owners did not want to send their students to another gym to train even for a one-off event. We started reaching out to friendly gyms to see if they would host and I had way more success getting ladies to show up. The mission of Pretty Dangerous has evolved through the years. It started out as a selfish endeavor to get more ladies to train with for me so I could be ready for competition. Since then, it evolved into a movement to expose women to strong female leaders and show them that women can be leaders in this sport and a secondary mission is “you don’t need to be a black belt to make a difference.”

JM: What do you consider the most important factor for a successful learning + training relationship between coach and student?
ML: Trust – is incredibly important. I am lucky in that my instructor is my husband and I have the utmost trust and respect for him. You need to be picky in choosing the right school with the right culture and leadership for you. A gym with amazing technique but a toxic or bad culture will lead to you either hating training or leaving the sport altogether. Not all gyms are the right fit for every person. There are so many different types of gym culture and the trick is to find the right fit for your goals and personality.

JM: What’s your favorite position and favorite submission?
ML: Well my favorite thing in Jiu-Jitsu is Passing. I feel strongly that guard passing is the single most important skill you need in Jiu-Jitsu. I tell our students all the time, you can be great at everything else but if your passing sucks your Jiu-Jitsu sucks. On the flip side if your passing in on point and everything else is meh then your Jiu-Jitsu could still be pretty good. Position wise I love side-control, I think it lends itself to my strength which is pressure and there are so many submission and movement options from there. Submission is hands down Kimura. Kimuras are literally everywhere and gain you so much control without giving up position.

JM: What is something people would be surprised to learn about you?
ML: That’s a tough one. I am pretty much an open book. Maybe that my high school job was to guide horseback trail rides at Columbia state park and hold up the stage coach as Jessica James.

JM: You’ve been training, competing and coaching for a long time. How do you balance Jiu-Jitsu and family life?
ML: HAHAHAHA I don’t. Plain and simple when you own an academy there is no balance. You live and breathe your academy. If you are not teaching, cleaning, promoting, book keeping, then you are at competitions coaching. Sounds rough right? I would not have it any other way. We chose this life and I am looking forward to the day I can get the gym to the point that my amazing husband can work it full-time with me. Right now unfortunately he still works his day job to support us and then works the gym at night.

JM: You have described your husband, David Lohsen also a BJJ black belt as your coach, mentor, confidant, best training partner, motivation and inspiration. What would you say is the secret sauce of your marriage that makes it all work, the factors that enabled you to feel supported and empowered in all areas as a student, mother, and wife to really be able to go after your Jiu Jitsu dreams.
ML: Well he’s hot for one…. Lol. But seriously he is my best friend and has been my best friend for 30 + years. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. He is the whole reason I even found and fell in love with Jiu-Jitsu. He has always been in my corner for every competition. He is not afraid to be honest with me and let me know when I suck and when I am amazing. We were actually just talking about this the other day, I think that because we are best friends we would always rather experience everything together, if something happens we can’t wait to discuss it with each other. We see other relationships where they go on guys nights out or girls nights out or they need breaks from one another and that just doesn’t compute in our brains. I think now I am going off-tangent and getting mushy. I truly love that we both have this passion for Jiu-Jitsu. I think in the simplest terms that is what makes it work, we are striving for the same goals and we are way stronger together.

You don’t need to be a black belt to make a difference.

JM: What is your advice to women whose partners do not support or approve of their training?
ML: That is a great but incredibly tough question. Unfortunately, that depends on your relationship. I think discussing it openly and honestly and finding out what their hesitation is helps. They may not understand that there is no sexuality when rolling. Maybe get them to try some classes. Get them to meet and be a part of your team so they can be familiar with these people you spend so much time with. The absolute best is to get them training as well.

JM: What do you consider the greatest challenges for women in Jiu Jitsu?
ML: I think that we have been conditioned to be people pleasers and to apologize for taking up space. I have to stop women all the time from apologizing for doing techniques they should be doing. Women have a hard time using pressure or discomfort in Jiu-Jitsu.

JM: What do you consider the greatest accomplishments of women in Jiu-Jitsu?
ML: Getting on the mat. That first step is the most terrifying.

JM: How do you feel about the level of Jiu-Jitsu education currently available to women? Do you feel its lacking in any way?
ML: I don’t know. I think that it is getting better. You see a lot more seminars put on by women now which helps.

JM: Who are some of the women who inspire you in BJJ?
ML: I love heavyweights, because I know the struggle. I have mad respect for ladies that are not afraid to use their strength and pressure to their advantage.

JM: What is your best advice for women who train at gyms where they are the only female?
ML: Find training partners you trust. Get to as many womens open mats and seminars as possible.

JM: What is your hope or resolution for 2021?
ML: Master World Champ this year. And get our gym to the point that my husband can come on board full time.

Evelyn Sutton

Evelyn Sutton is the publisher and founder of Jiujiteira Magazine. With over 30 years of experience, she brings her editorial and Creative Director knowledge to create a publication that serves the community of women who compete, train, teach and promote Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Contact: jiujiteiramagazine.com